My life isn’t bad, but it isn’t good either. That wouldn’t bother me if I knew I wasn’t supposed to be happy right now. But instead nothing is really that wrong. I have friends and we do things together and its fine. I have my family, which does a lot for me. But still I’m depressed. I know why, it’s because its my disease. It was diagnosed many years ago, I have chronic depression. It will never go away as long as I live. Even when nothing is wrong becoming sad is the easiest thing to do in any situation for me.

The one thing in my life that I feel I have truly and completely failed at is women. I talk to them and I fuck up, I try to fix it and I fuck up more. It’s part of my life that I’m 16 and I’m where most 13 and 14 year old boys are at with women– If that. I accept it and I try to fix it and it never works.

And I’ve managed to convince myself that if I could get a good girl to hold that my problems would be fixed. The depression, paranoia, and mild schizophrenia would all disappear like magic. And even though I know it isn’t true I continue to pursue women because no matter how stupid the idea is I can’t shake the feeling that someone to hold is better than 100mg of medicine a day to keep me sane.

Keep Your Parents Off the Web!

First of all, if you haven’t fallen in love with video google yet, you’re about to.
Secondly, if you haven’t fallen in love with Penn and Teller yet, you’re about to.

Penn and Teller are people that have almost exactly the same opinions as I do on just about everything, I love their show because it catches people lying. They miss out on a few issues most episodes but consider how much stuff they cram into each episode it’s forgiveable.

A few of my favorite episodes are:
The abstinence episode
It includes full frontal nudity and a hot asian chick masturbating. Also, copius amounts of truth. But also a hot asian chick masturbating. Every person in the world should see this, except attractive young males. I have enough competition with them while they’re ignorant.
12-step programs
This one exposes not only the bullshit of 12-step programs, but the illegality of the current system under which they operate (in the US.)

You can see the entire list of the uploaded ones here.

…One of my great aunts is. It was something that was expected and we’re glad we had her while she was here. It was a long time coming. This is a great time to start discussing a lot of things but I don’t want this post to go somewhere else with my aunt as an excuse for that, so I’ll end it here.

Goodbye.

For some reason if you search for one of my topics in google I appear on the second page. This is pretty cool and I have a theory about it but it’s probably wrong. Instead of writing something clever or interesting I’m going to show you people a few of the search terms that got people here.

myspace sex survey
shit love
jokes about popsicles
quicky fuck
g-unit with hitler

I think these are hilarious. But at the same time they destroy and renew my faith in humanity all at once. Tons of people are searching for these things but only a small few are stupid enough to click on the labrat777.wordpress.com blog.

Correction: I am the first on google if you search for “quicky fuck”
I am on the first page if you search for “myspace sex survey”
I am on page 3 is you search “shit love” and I hope to correct this soon, I should be on the first page for this one.
I’m first if you search “g-unit with hitler” which is the greatest search in the history of searches.

TRY IT YOURSELF!

This is the latest of a few logos I’ve shot at my friend’s site. It’s a volcano if you couldn’t tell. I don’t expect anyone to like it because it isn’t being used the way I want it too be used right now (here or at the site.) I’m designing it because my friend is not good with photoshop, he’s mainly a coder. Unfortunately logos are very basic, normally only a few colors and very simple looking. Simple looking is not my thing (case and point.) But there it is, enjoy, goodnight.

New York City-based PSYOP is an inspiring culmination of creativity, collaboration and production focused on providing visual solutions in motion for the advertising & marketing, video gaming, broadcast and music video industries.

That’s what they say about themselves. It’s pretentious, but I don’t care.

I’m coming to a standstill here because I have something I want to say about them but I don’t want to work to get there. I’ve just decided I won’t.

In school I take A/V class, I make bad movies in that class because not a single person there is honestly inspired to make anything. All of our writers/directors are too afraid to submit a good script because they know it won’t be made into their vision (me), our cameramen are fed up with our bad equipment (me), our editors have to use shitty programs (me), and our teacher is a great guy but sucks at actually teaching/helping (not me.)
As a graphic designer and bad film-maker these people are people I aspire and hope to be. At the same time I know I won’t ever be though. I can’t draw, so no matter how good I get with photoshop I will still be hindered in creating what I want to. There is no god damn way I would ever go to film school for a multitude of unfortunately good reasons. The best I can do is get a good career and do these things as hobbies. That isn’t necessarily bad, I can continue to write and I can always try to, and maybe even, sell scripts but it isn’t what I really want to do.

My main problem, above anything else, is that I don’t have much passion. The things I do have any passion for I can’t prove myself in and the things I don’t have any passion for are expected of me.

At this age I’m one of the few people who understands that what I do in the next 5 years will probably define the rest of my life. It will define the people I may meet, it will define the lives I might change, and it will define my quality of life until the day I die. It scares me because most of the guiding lights in this story are dim, and the others show paths I don’t want to take.

There is beauty in what these people do. Do the ads want to make me get a car or buy a coke? No, but they inspire me to create things and live life and move forward, just as Van Gogh’s paintings do to many others.

see the site | digg story

I saw Nacho Libre with my brother the other day and I must say, it was fucking funny. When we were having dinner beforehand we were talking about our expectations for the movie. We knew it would either be really funny or really shitty. It was really funny. At the end "Fly Like an Eagle" started playing in my head. It is funny. Jack Black is funny. Go see this movie.

WOOOOOO! SHITTY POST!

This is the greatest thing to ever happen. Ever.

Digg Story about some "punks" talking shit to some Star Wars fans. The clip was taken from some documentary that's given credit somewhere.

The title says everything I want to say about this.

Hitler: Who wants to hear a joke?
Excited Lackey: Me! Me!
Hitler: Why did the Jew cross the road?
Superly uber excited lackey: I don't know! WHY!?
Angry Hitler: How fucking stupid are you? I'm trying to kill them. What the fuck do you think they were running from? I should kill you right now. Instead I will beat you.
Endangered Lackey: Waaaah!

Hitler: Who wants to hear another joke?
Bruised Lackey: *angry mumbles*
Hitler: Nigga, I will blow you away!
Angry bruised Lackey: You don't have the cojones!
Hitler: PREPARE TO DIE MUTHA FUCKA!
Currently being shot up Lackey: Oh noes! You do have the cojones!
Hiter: JA-JA-JA-JA-JA-G-UNIT!

This edition of Hitler Jokes is coming to an end, with only one more thing to do. Surfer Lackey says goodbye! But which surfer lackey will it be?
Gangsta Surfer Lackey: Poor some out for the homies we lost in this edition of Hitler Jokes. And remember kids, racism is bad even if it is fake.