I love the interwebs

October 30, 2006 at 11:41 pm (General LOLness)

Keep Your Parents Off the Web!

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Penn and Teller: Bullshit!

August 22, 2006 at 6:37 am (Current Events, General LOLness, Quicky)

First of all, if you haven’t fallen in love with video google yet, you’re about to.
Secondly, if you haven’t fallen in love with Penn and Teller yet, you’re about to.

Penn and Teller are people that have almost exactly the same opinions as I do on just about everything, I love their show because it catches people lying. They miss out on a few issues most episodes but consider how much stuff they cram into each episode it’s forgiveable.

A few of my favorite episodes are:
The abstinence episode
It includes full frontal nudity and a hot asian chick masturbating. Also, copius amounts of truth. But also a hot asian chick masturbating. Every person in the world should see this, except attractive young males. I have enough competition with them while they’re ignorant.
12-step programs
This one exposes not only the bullshit of 12-step programs, but the illegality of the current system under which they operate (in the US.)

You can see the entire list of the uploaded ones here.

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I’m not dead, but…

August 14, 2006 at 6:32 am (General LOLness)

…One of my great aunts is. It was something that was expected and we’re glad we had her while she was here. It was a long time coming. This is a great time to start discussing a lot of things but I don’t want this post to go somewhere else with my aunt as an excuse for that, so I’ll end it here.

Goodbye.

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Hooray Google!

July 15, 2006 at 3:46 am (Blogs, General LOLness, WTF?)

For some reason if you search for one of my topics in google I appear on the second page. This is pretty cool and I have a theory about it but it’s probably wrong. Instead of writing something clever or interesting I’m going to show you people a few of the search terms that got people here.

myspace sex survey
shit love
jokes about popsicles
quicky fuck
g-unit with hitler

I think these are hilarious. But at the same time they destroy and renew my faith in humanity all at once. Tons of people are searching for these things but only a small few are stupid enough to click on the labrat777.wordpress.com blog.

Correction: I am the first on google if you search for “quicky fuck”
I am on the first page if you search for “myspace sex survey”
I am on page 3 is you search “shit love” and I hope to correct this soon, I should be on the first page for this one.
I’m first if you search “g-unit with hitler” which is the greatest search in the history of searches.

TRY IT YOURSELF!

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One of my works

July 12, 2006 at 11:51 pm (General LOLness)

logo
This is the latest of a few logos I’ve shot at my friend’s site. It’s a volcano if you couldn’t tell. I don’t expect anyone to like it because it isn’t being used the way I want it too be used right now (here or at the site.) I’m designing it because my friend is not good with photoshop, he’s mainly a coder. Unfortunately logos are very basic, normally only a few colors and very simple looking. Simple looking is not my thing (case and point.) But there it is, enjoy, goodnight.

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NAAAAAACHOOOOOO

June 19, 2006 at 12:36 pm (General LOLness, Life, Quicky)

I saw Nacho Libre with my brother the other day and I must say, it was fucking funny. When we were having dinner beforehand we were talking about our expectations for the movie. We knew it would either be really funny or really shitty. It was really funny. At the end "Fly Like an Eagle" started playing in my head. It is funny. Jack Black is funny. Go see this movie.

WOOOOOO! SHITTY POST!

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YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!

June 17, 2006 at 11:37 pm (Geeky, General LOLness, Quicky)

This is the greatest thing to ever happen. Ever.

Digg Story about some "punks" talking shit to some Star Wars fans. The clip was taken from some documentary that's given credit somewhere.

The title says everything I want to say about this.

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Hitler Jokes: Why did the Jew cross the road?

June 16, 2006 at 10:22 pm (General LOLness, Hitler Jokes)

Hitler: Who wants to hear a joke?
Excited Lackey: Me! Me!
Hitler: Why did the Jew cross the road?
Superly uber excited lackey: I don't know! WHY!?
Angry Hitler: How fucking stupid are you? I'm trying to kill them. What the fuck do you think they were running from? I should kill you right now. Instead I will beat you.
Endangered Lackey: Waaaah!

Hitler: Who wants to hear another joke?
Bruised Lackey: *angry mumbles*
Hitler: Nigga, I will blow you away!
Angry bruised Lackey: You don't have the cojones!
Hitler: PREPARE TO DIE MUTHA FUCKA!
Currently being shot up Lackey: Oh noes! You do have the cojones!
Hiter: JA-JA-JA-JA-JA-G-UNIT!

This edition of Hitler Jokes is coming to an end, with only one more thing to do. Surfer Lackey says goodbye! But which surfer lackey will it be?
Gangsta Surfer Lackey: Poor some out for the homies we lost in this edition of Hitler Jokes. And remember kids, racism is bad even if it is fake.

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Shit like this is why I love bash.org

June 11, 2006 at 3:42 pm (General LOLness, Quicky)

If you don't know or just haven't clicked on the link in my sidebar yet this is bash.org, it takes quotes from chats that people submit and does some shit I don't care about and people get to read them. Gems like this pop up pretty often if you just hit random.

Also, I would like to point this submission out. Learn from it. That is all.

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The official first post

June 5, 2006 at 10:10 pm (General LOLness)

Rather than importing my old blog again with the first post I'm just going to paste it here. What can I say? I'm lazy.

Why make a blog?
Lately I have noticed that there are a massive amount of morons surrounding me. Well I shouldn't say lately, I've known this ever since I was beating two chalk board erasers together outside of school one day and the security guard tackled me, screaming "anthrax!" while doing it. Ever since that day in kindergarten I have had an utter contempt for humanity. There are exceptions to my contempt and hate, the smart people, or people who are original, creative, etc. So far I have not met ANY in real life and very few on the internet. Why not give up you might ask, and I would reply: Because though most people are moronic and many just plain worthless shits on the shoe of society, people have good in them. Though there is a shortage of these people they are there, at my school, on the street, and even on the internet there are a few people who aren't worthless, giant, walking anuses.

Back to why I made this blog, it is simply because I want to announce my contempt for all the idiots I know, don't know, will never bother meeting, will never have the "pleasure" of meeting, will bother meeting, you get the idea.

This is not another emo blog where everything consists of "Why can't I talk to her", "I'm going to talk to her", "She turned me down", "My life is nothing without her", and my personal favorite: "I'm going to kill myself"

This is not another goth blog where every fucking post has poetry that I am literally going to create myself using all of the following words: dark, soulless, pit, blackness, bottomless, heart, bleeding. Here it comes:

I am a dark, soulless blackness
My heart is a bleeding bottomless pit

There you have it, two lines of worthless shit made to look like a poem, after the three hundred lawsuits I get for copying a bunch of whiny bitches poetry are settled I might do this again, just for shits and giggles.

This almost concludes my intoduction post, but as I look the post over it seems like it could be summarized as "Hello, go away." but this is not true, the best way to summarize it is more like this: Hello, sit down, stay a while, if you have to complain send me an E-mail that you took time on, by sending me an E-mail you have given me the right to post your E-mail on my blog so I can either praise you or point you out to the world as a complete moron, if you would not like your E-mail address shown tell me in your E-mail and I will comply.

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Why Didn’t I See It Earlier?

October 12, 2005 at 12:03 am (General LOLness, Quicky)

I think I know why my love life sucks, it isn't because I'm shy, insane, and suck at talking to women. No, that's not it at all, it's because I never respond or re-post chain letters. I can't believe I didn't see it earlier.

By my calculations I have roughly 6 lifetimes worth of shitty luck because I have never continued a chain letter for a few reasons:
A) If you read the first post you know this. I hold almost everyone in contempt, which means I don't even think I have twenty friends to send it to and I am not sending my guy friends a "send this to someone sexy" chain letter. Except for Conan O'Brien and Maddox.
B) I'm too awesome to spend time re-posting or sending shit to a bunch of people. It takes time to be this awesome dammit, and I will not be disturbed.
C) Fuck them.
D) To answer the question in the title of this post: BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING MORON!

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Scissor Stab

September 26, 2005 at 7:54 pm (General LOLness, Life)

There are people who sometimes, or all the time if you're like me, you just feel like stabbing with scissors. Not normal scissors either, those tiny sissy ones with the half-inch blade. Were you to stab someone with scissors like these I imagine it would take a good ten minutes of fighting and stabbing until you got to their heart and were able to kill them. It would be very messy, very painful, very long, and above all, very satisfying.

It seems to me like I know a lot of these people. I never asked to know these people, I never asked that they talk to me, and I never asked to associate with them. Yet all these things happen and every day I get closer and closer to just going to school and snapping and killing one of them with a two centimeter screw.

The following is as close as I will ever get to posting bullshit emo crap. If I want to do that I will make a sissy blog where I tell what I ate today and every little detail about it because I'm just so interesting.
Today I told someone at school that they should read my blog and they said that it was a little pathetic that I was asking them to. And I must admit that If I had been asking them to read my blog it would have been pathetic, but I do not classify this as a blog. What do I classify it as? I classify it as a place where I can write articles and keep them neat and organized. I realize many people do this with blogs but that is for one reason and one reason only: Lazyness.
The only reason I do not make my own site to host my articles is because I'm to lazy. I could make a site with a host, ad space, and all that other fancy shit but I like the layout of this site and I don't want to sit here coding when I could be writing, playing, watching TV, being lazy in other numerous ways.

A blog is a place where whiny, angsty, dumbass little shits of lives complain about how bad their life is like nobody else feels or has emotions. Nobody gives a fuck if you think your hair is shitty and that people were staring at you and talking about you behind your back. THEY ARE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY! Just live your fucking life and don't worry if the dipshit cheerleader makes fun of you because in twenty years when you stop for a coke at a gas station and shes behind the counter you can say, "Yes, I would like my pack of gum and coke bagged." and she will have to do it.

This post is my little way of staying sane and not actually stabbing anybody to death with a pair of shitty sissy scissors however much I still want to.

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Naruto

September 25, 2005 at 5:53 pm (General LOLness, Manga/Comics)

You may be wondering: "Three posts in one day? What the fuck?"
What the fuck indeed, but the simple answer is that I am in a writing mood today, you don't have to read them all today, or at all. Don't whine.

Now to Naruto. Some of you may have seen the anime on Cartoon Network. As with many other animes imported here it has been kiddied up into some friendly peice of shit. They SLAUGHTERED this anime and it does no justice to the manga. There is a point in the manga where someone is so fucked up he can't use his arms and is bleeding to death very quickly, so he decides that with the last of strength he is going to kill the opposing gang leader, so he gets a friend to put a knife in his mouth, charges the gang leader and lops his head off all the while being stabbed with numerous swords. I very much want to see this in the anime but I doubt it will happen because its not on Adult Swim, its on toonami. Technically it is a manga for young teens and thats the target audience for the anime but HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I watched toonami when I was 7 what's to stop seven year olds from watching it now? I know I would of loved that when I was seven but I was a crazy little bastard, I still am.

Moving on from that a question arises: Why the shit do they always give the protagonist the most irritating voice they can find. I think its because they want to distract people with a grating, scratchy, pre-pubescent crack whore voice so the audience won't notice what they've turned a good show into.

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You are not a punk, shut the fuck up.

September 25, 2005 at 5:29 pm (General LOLness, Life, Music)

Lately pretty much everyone at my school who liked Green Day last year has denounced their sheep-like faith in them because they have become too mainstream or some retarded shit like that. So, naturally, they all chose to start listening to more "unkown" bands like (I'm not shitting you) Blink-182 and Sum 41. Hey, good job retards, you denounced your love for Green Day, a band that doesn't suck, for BLINK-182 because Green Day is too mainstream. YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON! I am going to list a few reasons now, because I feel obligated.

1) We live in Albuquerque, NM. This may shock you but this city has one of the best music scenes in America. The Shins are from here, and we have local bands that almost rival them in how good they are. In other words, GO TO A GOD DAMN LOCAL CONCERT!
2)Most of you use Myspace, guess what, their music section has tons of indie artists who are nearly completely unkown, just browse the indie and alternative sections of music and I guarantee that you will find a fantastic band.

Now to the "punk" part.
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING PUNK. A real punk would go stand outside of the oval office and press his ass up against the glass during a press conference and not complain when the secret service did an anal cavity search and threw him in jail just so he get could another one from a guy named Lucy. I'm pretty sure you don't want to meet Lucy, so take off the pre-wrinkled clothes and never speak of them again and find some music that, this may blow your mind, DOESN'T SUCK.

Now for a list of bands that suck:
Blink-182
Sum 41
Hawthorne Heights
Dashboard Confessional
Fall Out Boy
Simple Plan
Many, many, many, many more.
Pretty much anything anyone who got pissed off by this post listens to.

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