A Reflection On The Current Affairs of My Life

November 28, 2006 at 11:40 pm (Life)

My life isn’t bad, but it isn’t good either. That wouldn’t bother me if I knew I wasn’t supposed to be happy right now. But instead nothing is really that wrong. I have friends and we do things together and its fine. I have my family, which does a lot for me. But still I’m depressed. I know why, it’s because its my disease. It was diagnosed many years ago, I have chronic depression. It will never go away as long as I live. Even when nothing is wrong becoming sad is the easiest thing to do in any situation for me.

The one thing in my life that I feel I have truly and completely failed at is women. I talk to them and I fuck up, I try to fix it and I fuck up more. It’s part of my life that I’m 16 and I’m where most 13 and 14 year old boys are at with women– If that. I accept it and I try to fix it and it never works.

And I’ve managed to convince myself that if I could get a good girl to hold that my problems would be fixed. The depression, paranoia, and mild schizophrenia would all disappear like magic. And even though I know it isn’t true I continue to pursue women because no matter how stupid the idea is I can’t shake the feeling that someone to hold is better than 100mg of medicine a day to keep me sane.


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The most beautiful ads you’ve never seen

July 1, 2006 at 4:42 am (Geeky, Life)

New York City-based PSYOP is an inspiring culmination of creativity, collaboration and production focused on providing visual solutions in motion for the advertising & marketing, video gaming, broadcast and music video industries.

That’s what they say about themselves. It’s pretentious, but I don’t care.

I’m coming to a standstill here because I have something I want to say about them but I don’t want to work to get there. I’ve just decided I won’t.

In school I take A/V class, I make bad movies in that class because not a single person there is honestly inspired to make anything. All of our writers/directors are too afraid to submit a good script because they know it won’t be made into their vision (me), our cameramen are fed up with our bad equipment (me), our editors have to use shitty programs (me), and our teacher is a great guy but sucks at actually teaching/helping (not me.)
As a graphic designer and bad film-maker these people are people I aspire and hope to be. At the same time I know I won’t ever be though. I can’t draw, so no matter how good I get with photoshop I will still be hindered in creating what I want to. There is no god damn way I would ever go to film school for a multitude of unfortunately good reasons. The best I can do is get a good career and do these things as hobbies. That isn’t necessarily bad, I can continue to write and I can always try to, and maybe even, sell scripts but it isn’t what I really want to do.

My main problem, above anything else, is that I don’t have much passion. The things I do have any passion for I can’t prove myself in and the things I don’t have any passion for are expected of me.

At this age I’m one of the few people who understands that what I do in the next 5 years will probably define the rest of my life. It will define the people I may meet, it will define the lives I might change, and it will define my quality of life until the day I die. It scares me because most of the guiding lights in this story are dim, and the others show paths I don’t want to take.

There is beauty in what these people do. Do the ads want to make me get a car or buy a coke? No, but they inspire me to create things and live life and move forward, just as Van Gogh’s paintings do to many others.

see the site | digg story

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June 19, 2006 at 12:36 pm (General LOLness, Life, Quicky)

I saw Nacho Libre with my brother the other day and I must say, it was fucking funny. When we were having dinner beforehand we were talking about our expectations for the movie. We knew it would either be really funny or really shitty. It was really funny. At the end "Fly Like an Eagle" started playing in my head. It is funny. Jack Black is funny. Go see this movie.


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MySpace Survey

June 10, 2006 at 1:24 am (Life, Quicky)

What? I've told you I'm lazy.

Name: Jon
Birthdate: 5-29-90
Birthplace: Albuquerque
Current Location: Albuquerque T_T
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'
Weight: 205
Piercings: None
Tatoos: Someday
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: NEIN!…as in no.
Overused Phraze: Don't MAKE ME SUCK YO DICK!
Food: Pizza/steak/mashed potatomoes
Candy: Warheads/Gum
Number: None
Color: Crimson
Animal: Penguin
Drink: Mountain Dew
Alcohol Drink: Captain Morgan
Bagel: Cinnamon Sugar
Letter: None
Body Part on Opposite sex: Sweet, sweet cherry pie.
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Wendy's
Strawberry or Watermelon: Meh
Hot tea or Ice tea: Ice Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla Vanilla
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Chocoffee with french vanilla cream…DUH!
Kiss or Hug: Shitty question
Dog or Cat: *dies*
Rap or Punk: Punk
Summer or Winter: Winter
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Funny Movies
Love or Money: Loney, yes Loney.
Most Missed Memory: I don't remember
Best phyiscal feature: See: Weight
First Thought Waking Up: Fuck this I'm going to sleep.
Goal for this year: Get a girl (did not work out last year)
Best Friends: Don't hate you if you crash their car.
Weakness: I'm too awesome
Fears: Spiders
Heritage: Irish, Jewish, and one asian.
Longest relationship: None
Ever Drank: Yes
Ever Smoked: Yes
Pot: Once
Ever been Drunk: Buzzed
Ever been beaten up: No
Ever beaten someone up: Just a leel beet
Ever Shoplifted: No
Ever Skinny Dipped: See: Weight. HAHA!
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: No
Been Dumped Lately: No
Favorite Eye Color: Green or Blue
Favorite Hair Color: Unnatural (not shit blonde) with black
Short or Long: Meh
Height: <3 Shorties
Style: Geeky and Intellectual
Looks or Personality: Personality
Hot or Cute Kewt
Drugs and Alcohol: In moderation
Muscular or Really Skinny: Fuck jocky chicks, fuck razor faces.
Number of Regrets in the Past: There was that one time I crashed Noah's car.
What country do you want to Visit: Japan
How do you want to Die: Eat so much molten chocolate cake I have to toss my self of a cliff just so people will get to see what the splat looks like. …You can almost hear the people leave.
Been to the Mall Lately: No
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yesh
Get along with your Parents: Yesh
Health Freak: See: Weight
Do you think your Attractive: Only my balls. What?
Believe in Yourself: Meh
Want to go to College: Yesh
Do you Smoke: Prime Times
Do you Drink: A leel bit
Shower Daily: Yesh
Been in Love: Nu
Do you Sing: No idea
Want to get Married: Eventually
Do you want Children: When I'm over 35 at the very soonest
Have your future kids names planned out: Xavier or Alexandra
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: Now, dammit.
Hate anyone: The things I could say.

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So apparently I’ve got a hot date friday

November 16, 2005 at 8:22 pm (Life)

Ok, so I'm sitting at school totally doing my work and one of my friend's, Adam, is all like "D00D, wanna hang out with everyone friday?" so I was all like "Only if there be B33R, yo!"

True story.

Actually the true story goes exactly like that except there will be no alcohol involved. That I know of. Well there will be kegs. But anything could be in that keg, it could be a juice keg for all you know.

OK, odds are we're going to hang around somebody's house, eat cheetos, and play videogames for like 2 hours and then go to my supposed hot date. And now for how it all began…

I was still covered in the placenta and the doctors were drying me off, it was fucking freezing in the hospital room and my mother had just given birth to my younger brother.

Not me.

Placenta rocket.


OK, OK, I will get to the story now and no I do not have a younger sibling. I eat them. Mmmmm bebe.

So I'm sitting in class and my friend Adam asks me if I want to hang out with everybody on friday, so I said yeah sure, call me. Later he asks if I'm single, there is something I'm going to ask you all to do now, if you have not looked at my myspace yet do so now.

…You couldn't find the link could you? Well you retarded anus, it is to the right and under the links section.

That way.

Alrighty then, did you see my pictures? God dammit, go back and see them.

OK good, after the pain stops ask yourself this: Do I look single to you?
The answer is yes by the way.
I must say my friend is a smart person, but god damn dude, what the fuck?

I have no clue at all about the girl, all I know is I'm meeting her and I need to smell nice and that Noah needs to shave. I know you're reading this you half-hairy bastard. SHAVE! SHAVE! ZIEG HEIL!
Woops, freudian slip.

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Scissor Stab

September 26, 2005 at 7:54 pm (General LOLness, Life)

There are people who sometimes, or all the time if you're like me, you just feel like stabbing with scissors. Not normal scissors either, those tiny sissy ones with the half-inch blade. Were you to stab someone with scissors like these I imagine it would take a good ten minutes of fighting and stabbing until you got to their heart and were able to kill them. It would be very messy, very painful, very long, and above all, very satisfying.

It seems to me like I know a lot of these people. I never asked to know these people, I never asked that they talk to me, and I never asked to associate with them. Yet all these things happen and every day I get closer and closer to just going to school and snapping and killing one of them with a two centimeter screw.

The following is as close as I will ever get to posting bullshit emo crap. If I want to do that I will make a sissy blog where I tell what I ate today and every little detail about it because I'm just so interesting.
Today I told someone at school that they should read my blog and they said that it was a little pathetic that I was asking them to. And I must admit that If I had been asking them to read my blog it would have been pathetic, but I do not classify this as a blog. What do I classify it as? I classify it as a place where I can write articles and keep them neat and organized. I realize many people do this with blogs but that is for one reason and one reason only: Lazyness.
The only reason I do not make my own site to host my articles is because I'm to lazy. I could make a site with a host, ad space, and all that other fancy shit but I like the layout of this site and I don't want to sit here coding when I could be writing, playing, watching TV, being lazy in other numerous ways.

A blog is a place where whiny, angsty, dumbass little shits of lives complain about how bad their life is like nobody else feels or has emotions. Nobody gives a fuck if you think your hair is shitty and that people were staring at you and talking about you behind your back. THEY ARE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY! Just live your fucking life and don't worry if the dipshit cheerleader makes fun of you because in twenty years when you stop for a coke at a gas station and shes behind the counter you can say, "Yes, I would like my pack of gum and coke bagged." and she will have to do it.

This post is my little way of staying sane and not actually stabbing anybody to death with a pair of shitty sissy scissors however much I still want to.

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You are not a punk, shut the fuck up.

September 25, 2005 at 5:29 pm (General LOLness, Life, Music)

Lately pretty much everyone at my school who liked Green Day last year has denounced their sheep-like faith in them because they have become too mainstream or some retarded shit like that. So, naturally, they all chose to start listening to more "unkown" bands like (I'm not shitting you) Blink-182 and Sum 41. Hey, good job retards, you denounced your love for Green Day, a band that doesn't suck, for BLINK-182 because Green Day is too mainstream. YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON! I am going to list a few reasons now, because I feel obligated.

1) We live in Albuquerque, NM. This may shock you but this city has one of the best music scenes in America. The Shins are from here, and we have local bands that almost rival them in how good they are. In other words, GO TO A GOD DAMN LOCAL CONCERT!
2)Most of you use Myspace, guess what, their music section has tons of indie artists who are nearly completely unkown, just browse the indie and alternative sections of music and I guarantee that you will find a fantastic band.

Now to the "punk" part.
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING PUNK. A real punk would go stand outside of the oval office and press his ass up against the glass during a press conference and not complain when the secret service did an anal cavity search and threw him in jail just so he get could another one from a guy named Lucy. I'm pretty sure you don't want to meet Lucy, so take off the pre-wrinkled clothes and never speak of them again and find some music that, this may blow your mind, DOESN'T SUCK.

Now for a list of bands that suck:
Sum 41
Hawthorne Heights
Dashboard Confessional
Fall Out Boy
Simple Plan
Many, many, many, many more.
Pretty much anything anyone who got pissed off by this post listens to.

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